You ask me ,but why ?

You ask me why,
I don’t have the words to tell you.
You ask me why,
But I don’t know myself,
You ask me why,
I wish I had an answer,
You ask me why,
I dodge your ask with stealth.

You want to know
If when I cut, it’s painful,
You want to know
If pain makes me feel good,
You want to know
What made me think to try this,
You want to know
If I feel understood.

I want to tell you
That I feel quite lonely,
I want to tell you
No one understands,
I want to tell you
Nothing else can help me,
I want to tell you
How much I long to hold your hand

But I am quiet
Because I fear you’ll judge me,
I am quiet,
I feel unworthy of your care,
I am quiet,
Because my words now fail me,
I am quiet,
But grateful that you’re there.

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