Twilight of loneliness
The opposite of loneliness is intimacy — the act of revealing your whole self to someone else and having them reciprocate. Intimacy is an act of love, an act of self-love, and an act of defiance all in one. It’s gritty, emotional, raw, unfiltered, unabashed, unpretentious and unguarded. It’s more than talking about things together. It’s being and becoming about things together.
For what are we in this world if not connectable, interlocking parts? What is this joy, suffering, talent and wisdom, if not to be shared and imparted? How much has gone wasted or unremedied ,We worship, learn, aid, sing, watch, call, visit, fuck, create, talk, love, try, read and write to bring ourselves closer. To make whole what we lack in the emptiness of loneliness. Each deeper connection creates deeper character, with more room to grow, more to lose and more to become. A heart unbroken is a life unwagered. A dream undashed is a life unlived. To play safe, to play solo, is to play a fool’s game — we may find success in rising above the rest, but we may only win by lifting up others. This requires intimacy. There are no workarounds.
Indeed, we’re only unburdened when we let our heart hang out the window to dry — when we let it be warmed, broken, run over by a semi, lifted, toyed with, and embraced. Intimacy requires the courage to make enemies as easily as we make friends, and watch the world dare to stand with us.
This is how we beat back the gray twilight of loneliness and find ourselves in the company of those we’ve challenged to truly see and accept us for who we are. It’s that feeling of two (or more!) human vessels for unchecked, unabashed, unmitigated joy reciprocating that truth, love and splendor between each other, a game of emotional and intellectual catch where neither drops the ball. It is the transcendence of body as prison, and it is the momentary defeat of our uniquely human tragedy.
We don’t have a word for that feeling yet, but if we did, I could say that’s what I want in life.
😢😢😢
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