Dismay

On days, to her dismay when things stopped making sense to her she realised that no matter how thick skinned she tries to be but there are millions of electrifying nerve endings in there.

Those are the nights when she is open and exposed and feeling too much is when she ends up writing an eulogy as to the kind of person she used to be.

She was always trying too hard to be the most chill and fabulously blaze person ever. Thankfully l have realised that the need to like everybody and be liked by the same set of folks is a colossal waste of time. Just because you are unable to strike a chord with that individual does not make you an insatiable monster. All of us are so deliciously complex and messy in our heads that suddenly you have that unflinching desire to run away from the whispering raspy voices that keeps lurking in your head for the quivering choices you have made.

With all the set backs, she plans to guard her truest self and cover it with masks, because. with her true self and that charm on, she is only lost in transit.

Now the bigger concern : Will she ever be able to stop doubting her scars and believe in the very hackneyed phrase *whatever happens, happens for the best* and be able to let go of things and live life as it comes. love herself a little more or will she allow to let it kill her, smother her to death because eventually when she comes out of it, she comes out of it much stronger, ready to face the world head on, gunsblazing. She is still deciding which one to resort to.
One thing that may work in her favour, after dealing with so much of chaos and dumping the carcass of her emaciated feelings, the thunders in her sob would finally get to take a breather. At least, her soul won't rattle in pain anymore, phew, it will not be in the wrong hands anymore. And, the sudden realization that there are so many things that full stops and commas can fix and that people indeed are like puzzle pieces and to fit with someone we will have to have our edges shaped in a certain way.

Before, she goes a little too far with her thinking, she should stop right here and have it engraved in her head *when going gets tough, it's just a bend and not the

end*.

Comments

  1. Unknown13 December 2017 at 02:40

    You're right. To believe that "Whatever happens, happens for the best", is a bit harder. Or maybe it's just something which we, humans have made up just to be optimistic and to never lose hope. But whatever it is I think everyone, not just girls, should believe it. Because that's one of the reasons to keep moving forward.
    Loved it. Will check out all of your work soon. Xoxo.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Lifeboat

I know life can be Beautiful and kind.  why do I cry myself to sleep ? Will I be able to survive another night? I'm hugging my knees I think i m dying ...and nowhere to go What can fix me? How can i escape this? Lookin' like hell on wheels The tiniest lifeboat with people smell desperate - I tell them this is how it feels when they don't wanna hear me.... They stay silent !!!!! Every personal experiences are  universal truths Pure adoration or distilled hate, Loneliness is devastating ,damaging and frightening, Still I'll endure it- like any other night, holding hands of darkness inside of me And we can be kind once more,we can be beautiful.
Read more

To everything i've ever lost , thank you for setting me free

At the end of the day it's you . It's you who has to make sure that you're okay . It's you who has to hold yourself . It's you who has to decide to keep going ,sure making some tea :) will make you feel okay but you really do have to make sure you're okay,you have to keep holding on and keep trying . It's hard out there but you can you can do it. You can do whatever you want to because you are strong and you've made it so far . We can't be afraid of change . You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in ,but if you never venture out of it,you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean,a sea ,a garden . Holding onto something that is good for you now,maybe the very reason why you don't have something better .
Read more

B. Lie

Thanks for playing with my feelings,  How i wish i could stop my heart from beating,  Thanks for playing with my heart,  At least to you this was a fun part,  you have left me broken, with my eyes filled with tears and fears,  At least you are whole, with smile on your face and not a sight of fear,  To you i was just a game, that you tried to win and succeeded,  Now that you are bored you've left me deserted,  Thanks for playing with my head,  Your sick little mind games,  You kept me guessing, till the very end,  Thanks for playing with my emotions,  According to you this was my weakness,  Thanks for your fake love,  Thanks for pretending that your cared,  Thanks for strengthening my belief, that LOVE is nothing but a pain causing pill,  Thanks for showing me that friendship is something that does not really exist,  Thanks for breaking my trust, for opening up, for sharing my thoughts,...
Read more